Walking In The Wilderness

But being found by a loving God.

Trudging around a road with no end wasn't exactly what I planned for. The road ahead did not have an end destination that I was used to. It is easy to have faith when I could see what was ahead. But what now? What now when I can barely see what is ahead? My faith feels like its hiding behind walls of counterfeit security. One gust of wind and these walls would come tumbling down, leaving my exposed uncertainty and doubt in the open.

I don't think I can write this from a point where I'm fully okay with where I'm walking. There's still so much doubt and desperation for clarity in this journey ahead. What am I really getting myself into? There are a million questions unanswered as I look into the far horizon. Yet, one thing is for certain.

His plans for me are good, and He is Faithful (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalms 119:90).

The goodness and faithfulness of God does not lie in the high mountaintops, breakthroughs or victory moments of my story. They can lie in the moments where the mountaintops are in my way, when I'm in a deep valley trench, or when the going gets mundane. Because His faithfulness is not defined on how I perceive Him or how I feel. He is Faithful because this is who He is.

Like how we can't change the nature of how the sun always rises, His nature of faithfulness can never change. His love remains steadfast through the ages.

And though this is something that I'm still trying to practically grasp, I know that it is a truth my heart can deeply resound with.

Whatever I walk through,

wherever I am,

Your name can move mountains,

wherever I stand

and if ever I walk through the valley of death,

I'll sing through the shadows,

my song of ascent.

- Highlands, Hillsongs

Though for the most part, I still can't practically understand a lot of things, can I be content with resting in the truth of who He is to me? Can I take heart in turning my eyes upwards, and even soothe my heart into knowing that I don't need answers? If I went on a search for answers, would that really bring peace to my heart? Jesus is the only answer to peace. What would it do if I gained the world but lost my soul in the process?

I can only do what I know how - to lean in the promise of God and trust that the path He is paved for me is good. Good not in the world's eyes, or what I might feel is good but good because I trust the Potter's hands.

Quoting Blue Letter Bible: Faithfulness is one of the characteristics of God's ethical nature. It denotes the firmness or constancy of God in His relations with men, especially with His people. It is, accordingly, one aspect of God's truth and of His unchangeableness. God is true not only because He is really God in contrast to all that is not God, and because He realizes the idea of Godhead, but also because He is constant or faithful in keeping His promises, and therefore is worthy of trust God, likewise, is unchangeable in His ethical nature. This unchangeableness the Scripture often connects with God's goodness and mercy, and also with His constancy in reference to His covenant promises, and this is what the Old Testament means by the Faithfulness of God.

19 Jul, 2023