Chasing Fulfilment

Going back to basics because our hearts needs to be reminded of this truth once in awhile

Psalms 16: 5, “Lord You alone are my portion and my cup; You make my lot secure.”

In the past few days, God has been revealing to me the hidden parts of my heart, unravelling the things that I had grown to put my trust and identity in. I trusted in my own strength and my own heart, thinking it was good enough. Once again, Jesus had taken the back seat of my life.

In seasons where things are difficult to reckon with and where the mind wishes to rationalise everything, coming down to realise the depravity of our human nature is actually the one thing we need to do. My self sufficiency is not enough for me. My own strength is not enough to tide me through though I pridefully wished so.

In my desperate attempt to escape from the reality I refused to face, I filled myself with things that were seemingly good. And honestly, looking back, it did seem harmless. But deep down, doing many things at once was just my heart’s cry to be filled again. When God emptied my heart and caused me to come face to face with my situation, I thought that these things were my answer to finding fulfilment. But they were just distractions.

I wasn’t meant to be filled by these things. I was meant to be filled by Him.

Any good thing could become an idol once it takes the throne room of my heart. I had failed to realise how these things were drawing me away from Him, rather than pushing me closer to Him.

As I reflected, I realised that if God wasn’t the center of everything I did, it loses its meaning. In Psalms 16:2, David says to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” In John 15:4-5, it states that we are the branch and He is the vine, apart from Him, we can do nothing.

I came to realise that all the things I did in attempt to find fulfilment only left me emptier. The world has nothing it can offer that would satisfy my heart and its insatiable thirst - that could only be filled by our Heavenly Father.

These truths are basic foundations that we are taught over and over, yet I still keep coming back to it time and time again. Surrender is truly never a one time decision, but a constant process of laying everything down before the Lord. Over and over again. No matter the cost.

In this process of being emptied, I’ll learn to be filled by the right source this time.

5 July, 2023