Tender

The Lord has been very tender to my heart in this process and in this journey. Sometimes in the process of waiting on the Lord for something for a long time, we grow discouraged and we feel like He’s not listening. I felt that for awhile, like my heart has gone cold and even bitter - why Lord, how long more would You keep me here? 

In the fog and in the uncertainty that I’ve grown so used to, I realise that I still can’t navigate it on my own despite how long I’ve been in this. With every step, I need the Lord, and I need to realise that for myself. 

Perhaps that's what waiting is, it takes time. And at the end of it, we're never fully assured of the outcome. Hence why it's important to wait well. We're encouraged and pruned by the process not by the end goal.

But, I’ve come to realise the tenderness of the Father that met me in places that I didn’t know I could be met. Through countless groans, through countless cries and cycles, He always shows up and the Lord knows what I need best. He truly is there through it all and I have nothing to fear and be afraid of. Though it’s easy to get plagued by worry and fear in this time, I’ve come to realise that the cure to that is gratitude - seeing and knowing who God is and how good He has been to me. When I worship through my circumstance and pain, I am giving Him the praise that He is due even if I don’t feel like it.